speaking truth to adoption
with a soft front, strong back, wild heart.
hi, i’m alé!
From as far back as I can remember, I struggled to relate with my peers and make friends, had bouts of sadness and deep emotion I did not see mirrored in my classmates or siblings, struggled with organization and some self-care tasks. At eight years-old I prayed to god to make me stupid— I believed I was having such a hard time because I was noticing and understanding things that others ignored.
In the 6th grade I figured out I was adopted. There were no photos of my mom pregnant with me, I heard my siblings’ birth stories but never mine, I had to travel with a green card and had a Brazilian passport. Also, I just knew. My body remembered. I asked my mom, and she confirmed, I was adopted from Brazil at 4 months old.
It took me about 28 years of life to link these two experiences together, and that how I was struggling is common with adoptees. Nothing is wrong with us. Something happened to us. I was separated from my mother immediately as a newborn, implanted into a Brazilian family for a few months, and then sent on plane to live in the United States. The accepted narrative is that a story like this is wholly beautiful- when in reality it lays a foundation of trauma in an adoptee’s development.
In 2016, I reunited with my biological mother. I learned her side of my adoption story and the unjust personal and systemic circumstances of my adoption. She explained her trauma of losing a daughter to adoption and nearly three decades of regret and grief as she begged for my forgiveness. It was then I began to deep dive into the unethical practices and coercive tactics that run rampant in the multibillion dollar adoption industry.
Though they made mistakes surrounding my adoption, my adoptive parents are not only well-intentioned, but extremely supportive, abundantly loving, and have been able to provide all the ingredients (and then some) that we picture when imagining a “better life.” I have always felt nothing but loved by every member of my adoptive family. The truth is, that’s not enough, love is not enough to shield adoptees from adoption trauma and the hardships that may come along with being an adopted person.
So here I am. Here to empower adoptees with tools to live a full, deep meaningful life, while facing adoption trauma head on. I also provide professional support for adoptive parents seeking to better meet the unique needs of the adoptee and their life. I have spent nearly a decade in community with other adoptees. I utilize the combination of my personal experience as an international adoptee, being an active member in adoptee spaces, my TikTok platform, and background in child development with a Bachelor’s in education from the University of Miami and a Master’s in social work from NYU, to competently serve those who seek to work with me.
So again, I am so glad you’re here. Feel free to explore my offerings. I cannot wait to meet you.
“The mark of a wild heart is living out the paradox of love in our lives. It’s the ability to be tough and tender, excited and scared, brave and afraid—all in the same moment. It’s showing up in our vulnerability and our courage, being both fierce and kind. A wild heart can also straddle the tension of staying awake to the struggle in the world and fighting for justice and peace, while also cultivating its own moments of joy.”
— Dr. Brown, DSW
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Parenting Out of the Fog
Support and guidance for adoptive parents and legal guardians while they cultivate a home environment that is both trauma-informed, child-centered, and designed to best meet the needs of the child(ren) in their care.
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Adoptee Group Coaching Program
This 10-week program couples a support group of adoptees who just “get it,” and an adoptee focused curriculum aimed to teach you to move through grief, manage stress and anxiety, treat yourself with respect, kindness and compassion, and improve relationships by communicating confidently.
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Media Consulting
Consulting for those producing literature, film, TV, documentaries, and other media who aim to tell authentic adoption stories that reflect the nuances of the adoptee experience and challenge the notion that adoption is wholly beautiful.
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