testimonials

“I was adopted at birth, my entire life I have suffered with the effects. I have been involved with various of types of therapy from childhood into my adulthood. I have followed Ale on a social media platform for awhile and when I saw the opportunity to join this class I had a range of emotions, but was drawn to sign up. I personally struggle with “taking up space” and I have a fear of speaking to individuals I do not know. This was a challenge to my entire life as I have known it. I made the leap and cannot be happier with my decision. 

I have been in failed reunion for almost a year, a history of toxic relationships and fighting life after coming out of the F.O.G. Although I had no idea how I would be able to find time or the financial ability, I decided if I was terrified of being vulnerable, it was something I needed to pursue. I have struggled with a large variety of trauma responses and really had no idea how to slow down the fight or flight responses I had been living in. My adoption trauma was slowly overtaking every aspect of my life.

The first class was the first time I had ever been in a group setting with other adoptees. I was nervous that I would not be as “advanced” as others in my healing and the imposter syndrome was kicking hard but I quickly realized that we all had similar feelings and I was not alone. 

I fought all the desires to quit the deeper we dove into each portion, the work was hard. I found myself unearthing trauma that I had ignored my entire life. The work is intense, and emotional, but in the end,  I got more out of the 10 weeks than I have a lifetime in and out of various types of therapy. 

The amount of growth I personally have had over the course of time is unbelievable. I struggled to not only manage my emotions, but my also my boundaries around my own mental health. This 10 week course showed me that I am worthy, I can overcome the often overwhelming feelings I experience in my day to day life. I am using journaling more frequently, meditation and the mindfulness techniques taught to us. I have been able to identify what a healthy relationship should look like which has led to some life changing decisions on my part. 

Ale exemplified compassion and empathy throughout and truly gave me useful tools for my adoptee toolbox. This course has changed my life for the better and I encourage anyone that is wondering if this course is right for them to take the leap, just be prepared to put the work in and commit. I cannot say enough positive things about my experience, and I hope that I have another opportunity to join a course again.

 Thank you Ale for a life-changing opportunity.”

-Alicia George

“Although I’ve been in individual therapy and am lucky to have received helpful, kind, and respectful care there, I still felt and struggled with the feeling of being alone and not fully known by my therapist. My found family are introspective, validating, and deeply empathetic people, who I am so thankful to share my life with. And yet, the trauma created through adoption still shows up in my life and relationships and is exacerbated by the mainstream narratives surrounding adoptions (e.g. “White saviorism”, the need to be “grateful”, overt or “color-blind” racism”). Often, I feel the need to play the role of adoption educator when what I really need is to be myself, the adoptee, and speak from my heart. During these times, I feel caught between “needing” to be the educator (so that I can be understood) and needing to express myself more authentically (without the research papers, lectures on human development, and analysis of structural oppression).

I was drawn to Alé group because I desperately wanted to be in conversation with other adoptees who were ready to bravely and vulnerably speak to their lived experiences of adoption - beyond the “FOG” and even beyond being educators. I wanted to let the walls down and take a chance on genuinely experiencing a connection to myself and to other adoptees on this painful, taboo thing that is adoption. I am so thankful I let myself take this chance.

Speaking to the program, Alé’s curriculum spans an impressive range of topics, techniques, and perspectives on complex trauma, emotional regulation, relationship dynamics, and grief and more. With this amount of breadth, I appreciate how Alé chose to focus on individual and group processing time within sessions. In other words, Alé gave us quality time with each other (and the information she presented) over pure quantities of information. Some of the most impactful moments for me were when the group sat in stillness/silence with each other as we collectively processed the impact of what had just been said or presented. This speaks to Alé’s ability as a facilitator and also the value of such a group.

In respect to the group, the circumstance of the adoptions, relationship statuses to families, and identities of the group participants was incredibly diverse. We were not a monolith in our lived experiences, opinions, thoughts or feelings, and yet we had so much in common and to learn from each other. The space Alé created for adoptees to honestly and vulnerably share their experiences as adoptees was the most beneficial part of the program for me. I was deeply moved by the stories and feelings other adoptees expressed. It was shocking and incredibly healing to hear another adoptee speak about their life, their inner pains, and secrets, and catch myself saying “me too, me too!” in my head.

For those interested in this group, I believe there is a level of readiness or fit that is needed to make the experience the most beneficial to the participant and the group as a whole. At a different time in my life, this group may have not been appropriate for me and that is completely okay. From my experience of the group, I feel the group would be most supportive to adoptees who have already begun to reflect on the mainstream narratives surrounding adoption and are able to hear critiques of the (US) adoption system with compassion and openness. I believe this is vitally important so that the authentic feelings and thoughts of adoption (especially negative ones) are given their due space to be heard, validated, and grieved with. So little space exists elsewhere in society for these experiences to be heard and held with empathy. For me, this is the strength and immense values of this program and something I am actually and genuinely grateful for.”

-Kimmie Cook

“Being a part of Alé Cardinalle’s adoptee coaching group has added an invaluable impact to my life. This group brought belonging within community for me that I’ve never had before and connecting with people who share similar experiences and struggles has truly been a transformative journey for me.

The coping strategies Alé introduced and practiced with us have provided me with tools to navigate the unique challenges being an adoptee can bring, and resilience and courage I developed with the unconditional support and understanding this group gave me. To me this was not just a coaching group, but a shared experience that many of us will take and apply to everyday life forever. Not only healing for ourselves, but future generations to come. I can’t thank Alé Cardinalle, Wild Heart Collective enough for offering this group, it is going to be very life changing for all who participate!”

-Arianna Aissa

“I stumbled across Ale’s TikTok when I was first learning about “the fog”. Many of her stories and points resonated with me. So when the opportunity to be part of a community of adoptees led by a familiar face presented itself… I knew I wanted to be a part of it. Having hardly met any other adoptees, I was eager for the chance to connect. The sessions were well structured and inclusive. Ale provided an environment that was warm and inviting. Her candor and humor in approaching such a delicate and controversial topic were refreshing. There were countless times that someone would share a story and I would see so much overlap in our experiences. It was a relief to stop feeling so alone in the adoptee experience. I learned a lot about giving yourself more grace in the everyday and to be kinder to myself. My favorite skill that I am taking away from the group are the meditation exercises that worked best for me. I am so happy that I got to meet with so many uniquely fierce kindred individuals.

Cheers!”

-Elle Skinner

“I was a huge fan of Alé’s mental heath and adoptee advocacy on TikTok, so when I heard about the group I was excited to sign up. I’m thrilled I did! I loved the group itself and Alé was a fantastic leader/facilitator. 

All the information provided in class was well and passionately presented, well tailored to the the adoptee experience and applicable to everyday life. I learned so much, from how the human brain functions to meditation/breathing techniques to skills for how to more effectively communicate with the people in my life. 

I loved the heavy focus on self compassion, as it’s so easy to forget how truly important that is to our wellbeing. Some pretty tough topics were touched on, of course, and Alé was skilled at holding space for the big emotions that came up. As adoptees, it can be very hard to feel like we belong anywhere. So it was pretty great to look around at a group full of adoptees who looked relaxed and tuned into the love in the room. 

I highly recommend this course for any adoptee who is looking for support or useful tools for their mental health tool box!

Thanks for everything Alé, loved the class.”

-Kristen

“My goal when I started the group was to learn to heal from my adoption trauma. I always knew adoption affected my life but never knew how much until this group. I have learned so many coping skills over these past ten weeks. Don’t just take it from me, my husband also has seen a major change in my mood. He has spoken multiple times throughout these ten weeks about how my depression and anxiety have improved.

 I will forever be grateful to Alé Cardinalle for coaching our group. A major part of healing is being surrounded by like-minded individuals. Wild Heart Collective made that possible for me to be around other adoptees. I have found over these 10 weeks a community of adoptees who I know will have my back even after the completion of the group. I would recommend this group to any adoptee!”

-Rine Hulbert